Turning 37

Okay, so I'm turning 37 in a couple days, which I must say is a bit surreal for me. It's not that I "feel old" or that I think that my "life is passing me by" or anything like that. Actually I'm inclined to say that I've lived more than most 40 year olds. No, I guess the only problem I have with it is that I expected to be at a different place in my life now.

I realize that that this is silly because I actually have alot to be greatful for at my age. I'm almost 37, but I've raised 4 wonderful children, I have a husband who still makes my stomach do flip-flops when he kisses me (which is saying alot after 18+ years of marriage). I have a successful company, a wonderful family and I have my health, so what else is there?

Well, that's an interesting question, because of course, there is still soooo much more. There are the hundred little goals and dreams that I thought I would have accomplished by now. I do realize that I have been shooting for the stars, so I guess it's selfish to be pissed off because I only reached the top of the mountain so far. That's okay, because I'm not done yet.

A while back I was having coffee with my mom and she shared an interesting philosophy with me. She is 62 and she lost my step-father 5 years ago after 22 years together. Over the years she has had to heal, and learn to stand on her own again. And don't even get me started on the disasters that dating has presented over the past couple years. But, she is getting there despite all of it, and she looks younger and more alive as time goes on. Anyway, we were talking and she said something that fascinated me. She said that she feels that she has reached her half-life at 62. She said that she was going back to school and didn't see any reason why she couldn't start on this adventure for the 2nd half of her life with the kind of attitude she had at 25 or 30. Only now, of course, she's even more savvy.

I thought about that and it really left an impression on me. I realized that she is right. There is no reason to feel like I have missed anything. I still have plenty of time and I'm a much better player in this game of life than I was a few years back. So, I'm still shooting for the stars, but I'm not sweating it. I've got plenty to do, but plenty of time to get it done.

In the meantime, I'm turning 37. My husband's the one who has to contend with my birthday on Valentine's Day (so he gets double pressure). He usually does alright though. Of course, he's had 18 years of practice. =)