Date Night

Okay, so my husband and I started a ritual many years ago that has kept our marriage alive and wonderful. We go on a date every Saturday night. We don't just "go out", but we actually go on a date. This means that I get dressed like I would for a date. I look fabulous and so does he. I spend the whole night flirting with him and he does the same with me. It is wonderful!

What this really means is that once a week, I get to be the beautiful woman who married a handsome man, instead of being a mom exclusively. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom (after all, I did it 4 times - 3 of those by the time I was 20 years old). But I found that in the early years I was so wrapped up in being a mom and a wife (from the domestic aspect) that I forgot what it felt like to be the other side of me (the romantic ravishing side of me).

In the beginning I thought nothing of giving my everything to my children, after all, they were my life. Yet over time I began to realize that I had actually given up some things that mattered to me personally such as writing or sculpting, or even pursuing some random dreams that I once had. I wouldn't say that it was a sacrifice, because that is not what it felt like. After all, I had the American dream, really. Yet somehow there was something missing. I felt incomplete and even the passion in my marriage had died out to a large degree. Of course we still loved each other, but not in any passionate or romantic way, but more like a pair of comfortable old jeans.

Luckily I realized what was happening when the children were still young enough not to notice. When my youngest was 3 years old, we decided to try our hand at a business together. This was wonderful for all of us because it gave me a creative outlet and a chance to become what I'd dreamed of while still having my family close by. But something magical and unexpected came about from this as well. Suddenly Grant and I had so much more to talk about, to plan about, to dream about. We started going on dates once a week on Saturday night so that we could have our grown up time. Sometimes we'd talk about the business, but most of the time we'd talk about the future and our dreams and aspirations. We'd both dress up a little and we'd flirt throughout the night. Nothing forced, just a natural playfulness and a subtle promise that someone was getting lucky tonight.

We've been married for almost 19 years as of this writing, and we still go on a date every Saturday night. Sometimes it's a double date with friends, but it's always our time to be grown ups for the evening. I still dress a little sassy and he still checks me out as I'm getting ready. I still flirt with him throughout the night and he still knows that after all these years if he plays his cards right, he might get lucky.